Do You Date Yourself?
Today’s post is a topic I’ve wanted to write about for awhile — dating yourself.
Out of all the important relationships in your life, the one you have with yourself is the most significant of them all. This idea is central to healthy living, because if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, it makes it difficult to have meaningful, strong bonds with others. Having positive friendships and connections is pivotal to being your best self.
A few months back, my friend and I were talking about her recent therapy session. They had talked about whether my friend makes
an effort to do enjoyable things on her own to help strengthen her mental, physical, and emotional health – what her therapist deemed as “dating yourself.” I had never heard it coined that way before, but when I heard her explanation of what it means to date yourself, I said, “Oh I totally date myself!” Her response was something along the lines of, “I know, you really do! That’s one of the
things I love about you. Whether Adam’s home or not, you make time to do things for you.” 🙂
It’s true, I like to think I make a continuous effort to thrive in all my relationships, whether it be with my husband, family, friends or myself. I think it’s important to never lose yourself in a romantic relationship. I know people who are great examples of maintaining separate hobbies and interests while also being well-connected with their partner. Then there are those who take it to the extreme, either having too much of a separate life from their significant other, or not having one at all. Like most things in life, I believe the key is balance.
Quite honestly, I’m crazy about my husband and just adore being around him a lot. However, I’ve found it beneficial – to both us a couple and me as an individual – to have my own gratifying things going on apart from us as a team. Dating yourself looks different to everyone. For me, it means doing things like volunteering at the Humane Society, challenging myself with exercise, blogging, and occasionally pampering myself. To someone else it might mean taking art classes. Though I love doing active things with Adam, I also look at my workouts as my “me” time when I problem solve, clear my head, and recharge, so a lot of the time, I exercise alone. Last Friday I dated myself when I hiked alone with Harley, then went to get a fabulous, relaxing pedicure. Giving yourself time to strengthen your relationship with YOU gives you the chance to better figure out who you are, which in turn builds your confidence, which enables you to be a happier person, which equates to you being the best YOU you can be, for both yourself and those you share your life with. What’s the downside to that?!
I understand that this idea of carving out time for yourself is challenging to people with demanding jobs, children, hectic schedules, and the list goes on and on, as life sometimes gets crazy for most people. Ideally, a lot of your passions can somehow be shared with your partner in some way. For instance, Adam loves surfing, and I love to relax in the sun, so we head to the beach together. I love cooking and baking, and Adam enjoys eating my creations. It’s a great thing when some of your interests intertwine, but the idea of dating yourself is to make an effort to do something by yourself, for yourself from time to time.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you date yourself?
Hi and thanks for stopping by! My name is Nicole and I'm a girl in my mid-20s with a passion for healthy living. This blog details my life in sunny San Diego and focuses on the ways I stay active, follow a vegetarian diet, and spend time with my family, friends & crazy puppy. 
foodie meets fitness 
This is so true, for some it is very hard to do. I learned that the hard way. Now I do hope that I am better at loving myself.
Agreed, it is hard for some people to do. I think that if you treat yourself well, it gives you this expectation for other people to treat you well too (and not to accept anything less!).